I think what they get or have is more time flying various aircraft out near the edge of plane's performance envelope.Mil folk have the training and guts( for the most part) to do it better then those who never worn the uniform.
A lot of civilian pilot training stays far away from the aircraft's potential. I'm a long ways from a commercial or ATP pilot
but never felt like I learned to really fly the airplane till taking aerobatic instruction. Then got some rides with world class
pilots in serious aerobatic planes and realized I still didn't know how to fly.
Don't know but would also think the military training has a lot more competition and pressure to perform or get washed out.