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A young Baptist preacher was standing out in his yard when he saw a boy coming down the sidewalk pushing a lawn mower. The boy stopped and asked the preacher if he wanted to buy a lawn mower.

"Well, I could use one," but don't have the money right now.

"Maybe we could trade," responded the boy.

"Like what?" asked the preacher.

"How about that ten speed bike in your garage?"

"Well, Son, you've got a deal, but first, does that run?" asked the preacher.

"Yes, Sir, runs fine!" said the boy.

Well trade was made, the boy rode off on his "new" bike and the preacher gassed up his "new" lawn mower. Later the preacher went to mow the lawn. Gassed up, he pulled the starter rope.

"BRAPP....put, put. Bruppp...put put phew." said the lawn mower, mpre than a few times.

The boy happened by. "I thought you said this thing runs fine," quoth the preacher.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. To get it started, you have to cuss it good first," said the boy.

"I'm a Baptist preacher. I don't cuss, don't even know how," said the preacher.


"Just keep pulling on that rope, You'll learn" said the boy.


Bob Wright

A cowboy bought a horse from a baptist. The baptist told him he had trained the horse to start off when he said "Thank God". The horse would stop when he said "Praise God". Soon the horse was running towards a cliff. The cowboy was hollering whoa and everything else he could think of. Finally he remembered to say Praise God and the horse skidded to a halt near the shear cliff. The cowboy took off his hat and wiped his brow and said, Thank God!

Ooops!
gramps

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NRA Patron Member
Tn firearms association: http://www.tfaonline.org

Borrowed to be shared with my email list !!

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PJSD

If you are going to take a Baptist fishing, take 2.

They will keep an eye on one another. Just the one by himself will drink all your beer.

To quote Mark Twain:
"Baptists are like tomcats. You know they're out there raisin' hell, but you can't catch them at it."

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...a sword never kills anybody, it is a tool in the killer's hand. Lucius Amadeus Seneca

There used to be a old saying, if you find four baptists together, often you can find a fifth.

You know why Baptist can't have sex standing up?

It might look like they are dancing.....

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Blume
CSIA #599 DCS

"Don't ever think the reason I'm peaceful
is because I don't know how to be violent."
"I'd rather Die while I'm Living than live while I'm Dead"... Jimmy Buffet

I’m not going to bust on Baptists, but other than cracking my head on a low beam in basement, trying to start a lawnmower that doesn’t want to is a sure way to get me cussing.

The difference in the Catholic and the Baptist is the Catholic will speak to you when they see you in the liquor store.

Yes, it's all about The Christian Brothers.

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Any man who is under 30, & is not a liberal, has no heart & any man who is over 30, & is not a conservative, has no brains." Winston Churchill
"Never have so many done so little with so much."
Ignorance, hate, fear and bigotry. The Four Horsemen of Liberalism.
I Pledge Allegiance Not Thoughtless Obedience

I saw what you did there

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Ron
USAF Retired E-8
RCA, ROCS, RENE Member
NRA Benefactor

I was raised a New England Baptist, not a Southern Baptist.
The difference? NE Baptists are allowed to dance (and put ice in their drinks).

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Its a Right. A Civil Right. Not a permit.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ATF_gunwalking_scandal
PC = Political Submission

For the record, I am Fundamental Independent Baptist, not Southern Baptist.


Bob Wright

I have always wondered why us Christians can’t all get together. I suspect it has more to do with the leadership of the various churches not wanting to give up their power and money. Than with differences in ideology.

Sad that we can’t all be united.

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NRA ENDOWMENT MEMBER.