If you study the above posts,, you will see that the common theme is HOW the gun fits YOUR hands,, and how you are shooting it.
As mentioned,, some find the plow handle feels bad when a DA design feels good,,, & vis-a-versa. Or,, that a Bisley design feels better than a plow handle.
One thing I OFTEN see as a handgun instructor, is an improper grip. And this is usually accompanied by the perception of felt recoil.
You mention you are fine with your S&W but not with the Ruger. Fine,, but they are totally different designs,, and as such, the physics of recoil are going to be different. And it is definitely more noticeable with maximum loads. Look at the grip shape of your S&W & compare it with the Ruger,, in factory form. You will see the differences.
If you are trying to shoot your Ruger as if it is the S&W,, then that is part of the issue. Due to the design of the SA revolver,, the physics of recoil make the gun want to "roll & rise" when fired. Too often,, people want to "control" this when in fact,, they are actually "fighting" this.
Next,, look at a Ruger plow handle design,, vs. the Ruger Bisley design. Much closer in design than the S&W. Yet,, almost w/o fail,, all of the very serious hard recoiling calibers custom built are using a form of the Bisley design for a g/f. Subtle differences in the Bisley over the plow handle makes a big difference in felt recoil,,, and ACTUAL control-ability. Yet,, under recoil,, the physic STILL matter,, and even a Bisley design will want to roll & rise.
With all this,, may I suggest a few options.
First,, eat a slice of humble pie & get a GOOD instructor, well versed in Single-Action handguns to teach you how to shoot a SA handgun.
(I did a 2 person class yesterday for 2 gentlemen who THOUGHT they knew how to shoot their handguns. I proved to them a few things they were doing wrong,, and immediately,, when they changed little things,, their abilities immediately improved.)
Good instruction often cures the ailment you feel.
Next,, maybe the loads you mentioned are too much for YOU. As noted,, maybe back off a bit. You did mention having a "265 grn cast bullet," and "only" run them at 1000 fps. I'd feel just fine shooting any bear I encounter with a load like that. I went to Colorado in November with only a couple of handguns to hunt elk. I was using a .45 cal, 280 grn bullet,, moving at a little under 1100 fps. I never felt under powered or under gunned in any way. A 265 grn bullet at 1000 fps in a .41 to me is plenty for bear,, unless it's a seriously mad grizzly. And even then,, if I do my part,, that will still work.
When I was younger,, I was afflicted with "magnumitis!" I wanted all the power I could get. well, as I matured I found that I was not only more accurate,, but I was also still killing critters much easier with less than maximum loads.
NOTE; I see another post has been made as I was typing mine. Again,, study what all has been offered. Lots of good info in all the replies.