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 Post subject: Morbid humor
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:33 am 
Hunter

Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2004 2:01 am
Posts: 2029
Location: New Castle, Penn. U.S.A.
The blonde mortician


A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'

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 Post subject: Re: Morbid humor
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 11:06 am 
Hawkeye
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Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:01 am
Posts: 14919
Location: So. Florida
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhh Gosh, you got me. :roll: :roll:

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 Post subject: Re: Morbid humor
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 1:59 pm 
Hawkeye

Joined: Wed Aug 23, 2006 1:01 am
Posts: 6515
Location: Hutchinson, KS USA
That's certainly not the oldest joke, but it has some age to it.

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 Post subject: Re: Morbid humor
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:23 pm 
Hawkeye

Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2008 8:07 pm
Posts: 16358
Location: Wesley Chapel, Florida
Stolen to pass along !!

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 Post subject: Re: Morbid humor
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:01 pm 
Hawkeye

Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2001 2:01 am
Posts: 15081
Location: Alaska, Idaho USA
That was a good one. :D :D :D

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.
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 Post subject: Re: Morbid humor
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 11:21 pm 
Hawkeye
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Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2005 2:01 am
Posts: 6020
Location: Sierra foothills, Ca. U.S.A.
toysoldier wrote:
That's certainly not the oldest joke, but it has some age to it.

I guess, at your age, you've heard just about all of 'rum! ;) :)

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 Post subject: Re: Morbid humor
PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 5:28 pm 
Hawkeye

Joined: Tue Dec 25, 2007 8:11 pm
Posts: 7232
Location: missouri
I've had some "interesting" conversations with our local mortician but nothing like that.

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 Post subject: Re: Morbid humor
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 3:22 pm 
Hawkeye

Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2002 2:01 am
Posts: 16715
Location: Redlands CA USA
Hi,

My favorite cousin's late husband worked in a mortuary as one of several jobs that got him thru college. One had to vet every one of his tales to determine the level of "embellishment", but he told some doozies about the goings on behind the scenes in the funeral home. The two of them had known each other since high school, and she'd help out by dressing the bodies. I should ask her if she used any "short cuts!"

Rick C

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It would seem that iron is rusting through...


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 Post subject: Re: Morbid humor
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 10:11 pm 
Ruger Guru

Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2003 1:01 am
Posts: 12112
Location: Near North Woods,MINN, USA
You cannot just get ahead in life......

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