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 Post subject: New puppy
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 4:23 pm 
Blackhawk

Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:01 am
Posts: 749
Location: Trumann, ar. usa
My parents told me I could name my new pet dog anything I wanted and since I was a mischievous little boy, I decided to name the dog Sex.
It seemed funny at first until you understand all the confusion that this caused me in my later life.
Like the day that I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex.
He said, “I’d like to have one, too.”
Then, I said, “You don’t understand. She’s a dog.”
He replied, “Look man, I don’t care how she looks.”
“No no, I’ve had Sex since I was 5!”
He replied, “You must have been an early bloomer.”
***************
When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I’d have to wait until after the wedding.
When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life.
***************
After my wife and I got married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex.
She replied, “Sir, every room in the hotel can be used for sex.”
I said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.”
The clerk said, “Me too!”
***************
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, “Me too.”
***************
One day my dog Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight.
I told him, “I’m looking for Sex!”
My case comes up next Tuesday.
***************
Now that I’ve been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I’m in counseling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was.
I said, “Sex has left my life. It’s like losing a best friend and I’m so lonely.”
He said, “Look, you and I both know that sex isn’t man’s best friend. Why don’t you go get yourself a dog...”


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 Post subject: Re: New puppy
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 4:48 pm 
Hawkeye

Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2008 8:07 pm
Posts: 16362
Location: Wesley Chapel, Florida
I think I might steal THAT to pass along to my email list.

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 Post subject: Re: New puppy
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 5:02 pm 
Hawkeye

Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:09 am
Posts: 8372
Location: The Liberal held left bank of the Mississippi River
I called my dog, "Stains".

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A mind is a terrible thing to waste on a Liberal.
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 Post subject: Re: New puppy
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:05 am 
Blackhawk

Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:01 am
Posts: 749
Location: Trumann, ar. usa
Colonialgirl wrote:
I think I might steal THAT to pass along to my email list.


Well,I stole it,so be my guest! :D


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 Post subject: Re: New puppy
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:08 am 
Blackhawk

Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:01 am
Posts: 749
Location: Trumann, ar. usa
Bull Barrel,We had a dog rescue for several years,and had some that we will never forget.
We had one little poodle that we absolutely could not get house trained.His name was Willy.I called him Pee Willy.


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 Post subject: Re: New puppy
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:46 am 
Hawkeye
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 2:01 am
Posts: 5913
Location: MANSFIELD, OHIO USA
Good One,, :) :wink:
Terry

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